“I am a little worried. We, via our support for the Trump administration, cut funding for mental health services in schools.”
“Gotta trim the fat, DOGE the waste, own the libs.”
“Problem is, we are always saying school shootings are a mental-health issue, not a gun-control issue. How can we go on TV saying our nation has mental-health problems in our schools if we cut the funding to address that issue? It would be like, pretending to care about babies but cutting resources to address sudden infant deaths.”
“That’s part of Trump’s genius. (About the school thing, not the babies. I don’t have a good spin for that yet.) What is not happening right now?”
“Democracy? Free speech? Common sense?”
“No no no. When you were late to work this morning, what excuse were you not able to use?”
“I was late because I had to take an extended shower—those high-powered Trump Golden Showers can’t come fast enough. And the less said about my toilet, the better.”
“But once you were on the road, you didn’t have to slow down because…”
“Because no school zones. Oh… Oh!”
“That’s right. Summertime, no school, no shootings. And by the time we are back in Walmart fighting for the last remaining school supplies, no one will remember about those little cuts. I barely remember the beginning of this conversation.”
“Those are all good points. But, I think, don’t we have school events happening in the summer? Like summer school? And colleges have summer sessions.”
“No one’s gonna worry about those losers. Anyone going to school in the summer has some serious mental-health issues.”
