So I can get a Second Wife in Iowa?

April 7, 2013

The renewed debates on gay marriage have uncovered a desire by some to relegate (or promote, as Rick Perry would characterize it) marriage to a states’ rights issue, namely that each state should be allowed to determine what is and isn’t a marriage – and I think that’s an awesome idea.

Marriage should be up to the states. I mean, if I get married in North Dakota, why would I expect South Dakota to just “accept” it? If I plan on breathing South Dakotan air, then the state’s wedding planners, priests, and city clerks should also have a say in who I can and cannot marry.

What better way to solidify a social institution than to force people to do it 50 times (or 51, if they ever go to Puerto Rico) in order for it to be legitimate throughout these “United” States?

Then again, we would also have the option for up to 50 spouses, one for each state, because in America, it is all about freedom and choice. Either way, it would provide what I assume would be a much-needed economic boost to the wedding industrial complex.

Of course, divorce would also have to go to the states. Just because a man splits with his wife in, say, South Carolina, that doesn’t mean your state has to recognize it. I could imagine a world where, if Mark Sanford ever visits your state, you could have him arrested for bigamy. Now that’s something everyone should be able to support.

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