Dispatches – Everyone Gets a Statue

Masks don’t stop braindead discussions:

“Woodrow Wilson was a racist.”

“We sell baseball cards here, sir.”

“You get it. Cards are a testament to history. Like statues. The antifa mobs are out to erase our culture. All at the word of that senile communist who’s controlling the Democrats.”

“We don’t have any statues here, sir. We have some McFarlane toys…”

“Communists erase history. They are responsible for hundreds of millions of deaths, and no one knows about it. That’s why no one remembers Woodrow Wilson was a racist. ‘Cause he was a Democrat. Like Hillary Clinton. And they are trying to get rid of our statues.”

“And if we had a statue of Woodrow Wilson, more people would know that…?”

“Exactly. We need more statutes now. But if I put a Woodrow Wilson statue outside your store right now, we would have antifa terrorists here by the middle of the night looking to tear it down.”

“Right, so, uh… it should go in a different place, right?”

“With more statues, people will remember our heritage…”

“Our racist heritage?”

“…and we need to preserve our heritage. Trump is the only one fighting to save our heritage. Otherwise we will have open borders and mandatory Spanish classes in 150 years.”

“Yeah. Someday we will make a statue out of him.”

[Looks down into card case.] “Oohh, you have a Guerrero rookie.”

“Yep. Senior and junior.”

“I met him once, you know. When he was an Angel. Big guy. Didn’t say much. I loved to watch him play.”