Dispatches – Save a Job, Save the World

These days, while wading into the great American slog, there are many opportunities to overhear and even participate in compelling conversations on the state of our nation and the world, particularly about the great unifying experience of Christmas shopping:

“I been out shopping for the kids. I got lightsabers for all of ’em because Walmart had them in this giant bucket for 4 bucks.”

“That’s ’cause everything’s made in China now.”

“It’s a damn shame. We invented lightsabers. If anyone should be making ’em, it’s us.”

“Trump’s gonna stop all that. He’s bringing back the jobs, and four years from now we’ll all be buying American lightsabers.”

“He can do it in three.”

“Maybe. But all those liberals are gonna try to stop him. Remember the owls?”

“Yeah, yeah… Which owls?”

“The owls of Oregon. The greenies put the lumber industry out of business to save an owl. Now we have to import our wood from China.”

“Trump’ll fix that. Hell, if it saves one job, I’d shoot all the owls in Oregon.”

“We could pay a guy to go out and shoot all the owls in the woods. That’s one new job right there.”

“I know a guy who would do it for free.”

“I know a guy who would pay to shoot owls.”

“Then we’d have to pay someone to collect his money.”

“We just made a job.”

“We just saved the whole damn economy. More than Obama bin Lyin’ ever did.”


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